A Birth Story, perhaps?

Sorry, I know it's late. I'm a slacker, what can I say? Didn't even get my TYNotes out from my showers yet. Gar.

SO, on with the show. I had a babydr's appt on Tuesday September 21st, where the doc "agitated" my membranes. Then the rinse cycle started. Oh wait, not a washing machine.
The nurse in the room said that I'd do well through labor because I did well while he was agitating around down there, so I took that as a good sign. It was uncomfortable, but I was expecting some kind of pain or something, so I did my deep breathing. And concentrated on the puppies on the ceiling, lol. I went into work after that, worked a full day, felt fine. I think I was 2cm and 80% at that time.

The next morning, about 130am, I felt uncomfortable, so I figured I just need to go to the bathroom. Went. Woke up again about 10min later, same feeling. It took me until 221am to figure out...wait, that might be a contraction!!! WTFOMG!!1!!!!1 So I told the hubs I was going to go lay down on the couch and time these babies. They were every 9 or so minutes until about 6am, and I slept every now and then. It just felt like a slight back pain, not too bad, so I expected at the time for this to last a long time and to either taper off, or maybe have the kid that week sometime.

After 6am they went away, but I wasn't in the mood to go to work and wouldn't be able to concentrate there to save my trucks, so (sorry, but as I'm writing this, the burrito is napping and his little foot is twitching, it's so damn cute, just had to note it for posterity) I called off work. I asked my friend to stop over to deliver some pads, as I conveniently forgot anything dealing with me leaking (this goes for breast pads too), and some coke, as I was in need of a caffeine fix. As of 1030am the contrax kicked back up again, and got a little bit worse. It was all in my back, I felt nothing in the front, where I thought they'd be. Karma.

So when friend came over, I was rocking away on my bouncy exercise ball, the only thing that did any good against the back pain, I figured out. She only stayed for a bit with her two little ones because I wasn't very much fun, having to be all Rain Man during the contrax.

Hubs was at a work meeting that day, so he was able to leave whenever (which I'm sure he could've done anyway, but it wasn't a day where he was at his typical "office"). I let him know my status and he said to let the babydr know. When I called in, they said to come in, that they'd check me there. Hubs got home and we went in about 1145. At this time, the contrax were worse, so that I'd have to concentrate on them, not talk, walk around, or something of the like in order to get through them.

When they checked me, I was 3cm (I think?), and they said that I could go on over to L&D. Whee! I remember having to stop every so often while walking in and out of the office for contractions. At that point, walking through them was ok.
Went home, got the stuff ready (or just got the last-minute items ready, as the bags were packed previously), and headed over to L&D, two minutes away at the local hospital. I was sitting on a towel in the car, so as not to gush all over hubs' truck, lol.



ready to go!

  Once we got to the hospital, I pretty much just followed hubs, because I was concentrating on breathing through my contractions and being able to make it to the room before having my water break, although I know I can't control that. I think there were a couple of old ladies in the elevator who were chatty, and I ignored them - a sign of things to come...
We got up to L&D and checked in, and they took us to a room. I asked for a bouncy exercise birthing ball, and remembered that the last time I felt nauseated, at the GD blood test, they got me a fan. I was starting to have nausea with each contraction depending on how I was standing or sitting, so hubs suggested we ask for a fan as well. A couple different types of medical people came in and out, and hubs went to go find the ball and fan. They were attaching the belly monitor, and taking my bp every now and then, and I labored there for a while.

After a while, I got changed into the gown, put a "puppy pad" on the ball, and started breathing through the contractions that way. It felt better to have someone rub my lower back (whee, all back labor), and to raise my knees up slightly. The fan helped with the nausea. From time to time a nurse would come in and see if I was ready for my IV yet - I kept saying, do I have to? I'm not ready yet, I'm still nauseated, don't want to throw up, etc. Hubs then said if I just kept saying no I wouldn't have to get one, I could refuse it. So I just kept putting it off. However, I made sure that I had liquid nearby - they gave me apple juice, which sucked...all I want when I'm nauseated is water, although that makes the nausea worse apparently. Pshaw.

Hubs told me that I might speed things up or feel better if I walked around during the contractions. I kept telling him, uh, if I get up I'll puke. I was fine sitting down. Then the nurse came in and said that they were afraid that burrito was sunny-side-up, and it might help if I would either walk around, stand up, or lean forward in order to encourage him to turn. So I stood up for one contraction, leaning on hubs, and promptly threw up all the lovely purple gatorade that I'd just drunk. Oh fun. I didn't want to talk much at that time or else I would've said "TOLD YOU SO."

The contractions continued, and I had someone rubbing my back during each one. Hubs wanted to go home and shower and get something to eat, so he called my mom in to take over Baby Watch 2010. At some point around 3-4pm, lady babydr came in and checked me again, and I was at 5cm I think. I did feel some gushing of fluids when I was on the bouncy ball (thank goodness for the puppy pads), and figured out later that that was my water "breaking." Around 5-6pm, hubs goes home to shower, but skips the food because he wasn't sure how long to be away, as my contractions were getting stronger. They were giving estimates at that point. Someone said 7, someone said 8, I said 7:54pm which is when I was born, and hubs said 7:30.

My contractions were getting stronger and the nurses were recommending I change positions, so sometime around 6 I put the ball on top of the bed and started leaning on it through my contractions. One of the nurses gave hubs a small bottle of lotion to use when rubbing my back, because apparently it was turning red. He said later he almost used the whole bottle. Ah the joy.
I don't know what time it was, but after I stood up, I started to feel like I had to poop. Lady babydr said to just go with what my body said, so I went to the bathroom to see if I had to. Not a whole lot happened, and going to the bathroom with back labor, it is now established, is the worst pain I have ever felt. I went a couple times while I was at the hospital, and it was all I could do not to scream when I had a contraction on the toilet. I think it's the closest I came to actually making noise while having a contraction!

During the last stages of my labor, before I felt like I had to push, I didn't really know what was going, didn't talk to anyone, just nodded my head yes or no. I didn't open my eyes a whole lot either. I knew people were there because of their voices, but I was resting between contractions, and concentrating on breathing during them.
When I finally felt like I had to push, which I didn't realize was actually an urge to push - it felt more like I had to poop - I was still in the standing up position. I kept asking hubs if I had pooped in my fancy mesh underpants. I was really expecting something to be there! And it really did feel like I had to "bear down," which should have been my first clue that the baby was actually coming.

I don't know how many contractions I had while feeling the bear down urge, but at some point, the dr said "ok, I think you may be actually pushing, why don't you get up on the bed?" Good thing too. Since my back labor was insane at that point, and I don't know how I had gotten up on the bed the previous two times that they checked me, she suggested raising the back of the bed so it was almost an L shape, and getting on my knees. Sounded good to me! So I crawled up, put my arms over the back of the bed, butt facing her, and pushed a couple of times. I felt something which I believe can only be described by the infamous "ring of fire" and the dr told me to hold on for a second, I guess she was checking things out. When she said go again, I continued to push - and pop! I felt nothing but the sweet bliss of a baby not in my birth canal anymore. Well, I guess it was more like squish instead of pop.

Anywho, the burrito came out with his left hand on his head, so I was on the receiving end of a 1st degree tear. When he came out, he was scooped up and taken over to the warmer tray to get him ready for dinner, lol. Hubs followed him over while I basked in the feeling (ohmigodnopainnopainnopain), and attempted futilely to push out the placenta. Dr said, "maybe you should flip over, that might help." So I got on my butt (gingerly) and another squish and the placenta was out. Thence proceeded the stitching. That was a bit painful. I did have a shot for the pain, which was also painful, but I don't remember it so it couldn't be as bad as my previous shot in that area - long story.

They asked me if I wanted to hold him, but I said I'd rather have him when the stitching was done and I was able to fully concentrate on him. Hubs watched him through the whole process, he got a 9 on his Apgars, they wrapped him up and handed him to Grandma (my mom) while hubs made some calls. Whee!

He was about the cutest thing ever.

the burrito, day one

look at the hair!

Welcome to the world Baby!

Benjamin William was born at 7:44pm on Wednesday September 22nd. He was 7lbs11oz, and 19in long. He's a beautiful baby boy and I'm so thankful!

Stories to come, of course. Now for PIPs!

The morning of:

Fresh out of the oven, with great-grandma: 

After his first home bath: 

Chillin like a burrito: 

The Final Countdown?

back pain has intensified. lots of pink mucus-y stuff. called dr, going in for them to check me out as soon as hubs is here. yar.

and just like that...

they have stopped. bye-bye, contractions. will you be back? we'll find out...

In the meantime, I'm going to rest and walk the dog and eat non-solid things, like soup. and soup. and gatorade. maybe some more soup.

8:02am - called off work, going to hop in the shower and put a towel on my little slice of couch. ooh, going to make some caramel vanilla decaf too, yum.

mmm, back labor.

I haz it. I woke up at about 130 in a fair amount of fun, fun pain in my lower back, went to the bathroom. Cue more fun spotting.
200, up again. Hmmm...could be something more than just having to go to the bathroom.
230, figured I'd better start timing to see what happens. The pain had a discernable beginning, a hazy ending, and lasted about 3-4 mins, about 10 mins apart.

So, cut to me, on the couch, laptop in sight, and oh yes, blogging away. I'm timing things with the help of contractionmaster.com, I think, and basically just...waiting. Drinking some gatorade. Trying to rest. The usual for a Wednesday morning at 3am. Didn't I tell you people? 3am!

Oh, and ouch.

Well, that was fun. And painful.

Had my 39-wk appointment this morning! I'm 39w3d technically. Went in, got weighed, ignored the scale after I saw the 20_.__, told them about the two times I had cramping at around 4am, that was about it.

**warning - possible grossness ahead.**

Dr man came in to check me, I was anticipating the uncomfortableness this time so I was prepared with my breathing, lol. He also said he was going to "agitate" the membranes (after this I started referring to him in my head as the Maytag Man), and I was like sure, ok, and the nurse laughed. He checked for dilation and effacement first - 2cm, 70% - and then started doing something that was quite uncomfortable, but not exactly painful. The breathing did help, although I only had to take two deep, long breaths and it was done. Immediately afterward, it felt like menstrual cramps. I sat up and the nurse handed me a pad - which is where I remembered what I forgot to buy at the store!

I had a little spotting while at the dr's, but the cramping has gotten a little more uncomfortable. Went to the br a little while ago, whee more spotting (I know, totally gross, but didn't you read that warning?), which looked a little mucus-y so I'm hopeful that my plug has started to vacate the premises.

And oh yeah, OUCH! Back pain! I just started to notice it becoming more painful than uncomfortable. I've got my timery thing all ready online, but I can't really tell when it starts and when it ends. I'm sure it's just a prelude to actual pain, though. I'm thinking that because I can't tell when it starts or ends that it's not a contraction and just more of the same. We'll see.

ooh! cramp! there was a cramp!

this morning at 4am. It was painful. I used that chance to practice my breathing for contractions.

I can't be too sure, but something tells me I'm going to SUCK at labor. In a major way. Ah well. Someone get me a giant pacifier.

So, have a half day today - I have to get dog food, find some lunch, and meet the furnace guy. I'll probably spend the rest of the day organizing my freezer food and throwing the rest of the stuff in my hospital bags. Maybe I can even get around to taking pics! Ooh, blog with pics, how exciting. I know, you're holding your breath.

last night was fun............NOT

It was a lovely night, until I tried to go to bed and realized...that feels like cramps. Ouch. Hey, that really feels like cramps. how long do these last? will they ever stop? oh, that's better.

~@4am~

Oh hey, I have to go to the bath-WTF? cramps again? they still hurt! and my back does too! and it's not going away! oh wait, that's better. but here comes a BH. and he's still kicking me. how does he have room?
um...this could be a sign of early labor, according to WTE (I was doing some light reading on the toilet). that means...

I NEED TO PACK MY BAG! I NEED TO FINISH MY STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE! IT LOOKS ATROCIOUS! WHO'S GOING TO WATCH MY DOG?
to be done list going through my head: iron my dish towels, open box of diapers, wash my CD's, get a basket for baby bath stuff, put sunchips in my hospital bag, buy yogurt...man. there's still a lot left to do! it's not like packing for vacation, apparently.

So, tonight, it's off to bru to get the last of my "vital" stuff on the registry, and maybe a dresser, as I've been told he'll have more things at christmas than can fit in his little shelving unit. man. I keep checking the tp, looking in the toilet, no "mucus" yet. The BH are getting a little more painful, but so far it just feels like cramps. I have to remind myself to keep drinking water also, I don't want to get dehydrated and then go into labor! Oh and on a more TMI note? I went to the bathroom 4 times yesterday. Of the non-peeing kind. Which I recalled at 4am when I was thinking of Liz, who went into labor & had her lovely baby the other day. AHHHHHH!

BPF!

a little late, but ya know how it is. had a half day today, got a sub and fries for lunch, subsequently am laid up on the couch because the H said "hey, are your feet ok? that one looks swollen."
aaaand with that, I was on the couch with water for the rest of the day. so here I am. : )

36w6d:

36-ish weeks update

So, I didn't get to take a pic for BPF last week, I'm not sure why...did I have something to do? Was work hellish? It might have been. It's not like I can remember yesterday, much less last week!

NO BRAIN: My brain cells are being used currently so I have none left to, for example, help me with remembering to take keys with me when I walk out of the house. The way my front door works (with my lovely "vintage" handle and lock) is that you can set it to lock with a button on the mechanism, so that when you walk out it locks behind you and you don't have to use the key. Well. That's all well and good until you try to get in the car and realize that your keys are inside the locked house. Twice last week. Twice. This kid better be a genius from all the brainpower he's sucking from his ma.

LISTS: I'm on to making lists now, so that takes up most of my time, lol. I have a list of stuff I need to do around the house, when it needs to be done, a list of baby stuff I have yet to buy from the registry, a list of recipes I need to get together for the pre-baby cookfest, and more to come, probably.

BABYYOGA: The next prenatal yoga session doesn't start up again until mid-Sept, so I'm thinking of doing a private lesson or two until then, because I could use some serious stretching, and the doing-it-at-home stuff just isn't cutting it.

THINGS I CAN'T DO: I can't really reach my feet anymore, which is wonderful right now because I either have some form of poison, or was exceptionally juicy to mosquitoes this weekend. I was able to take the nail polish off of my half-pink toes this morning, but it took a while. And I got kicked in the process. He doesn't like it when I bend any which way that cramps his space I'm thinking.
Bending over to reach the passenger-side window in my car? forget it.
Putting on socks? Equally as painful, and gets me elbowed as well.
Taking laundry up and down stairs? I have to make sure the basket is not full so as to accommodate the belly when I'm holding the basket in front of me.
Bending down to pick up the dog's food bowls? Ugh. I'm thinking of just opening his cabinet and letting him eat it right out of the 40-gal plastic container. You want water? hose in backyard.

HELLOOOOO 200: Yes, I've hit 200 lbs. It's scary, but only because now I am over what I wanted to gain in the first place - I was doing so well, and now it seems like the weight I gain is going to other places than the baby - my thighs are looking a little bigger (well hello there, only new stretch marks on my body, welcome to my thighs), and my back is flabbier. I'm hungry all the time now though, and it doesn't hurt to eat a full meal anymore. I'm trying to watch what I eat but it is DAMN TOUGH. I don't feel like preparing anything by the time I get home from work. My motivation has gone out the window, only to come back on Saturday mornings.

SATURDAY MORNINGS: this is when I get my burst of energy and want to clean the whole house right now and I CAN'T WAIT IT ALL NEEDS TO BE DONENOWRIGHTNOW. And then I get crampy, and hot, and need to sit down and drink water. A nap on the couch sounds nice. What was I doing again? Oh well, at least I got the dishes done.

OH THE KICKING: His kicking is becoming a little more painful. I had heard that movement might decrease, and some days it does, but others (I'd like to apologize in advance for the cherry coke that I can't seem to stay away from) it's like he's trying to locate an exit at any point. Or seeing just how much room he has left. My left side is the constant kickboard for small fry's testing of the limbs. I still have no idea which part is which though, other than thinking to myself "oh, that is a limb poking into my side. that is probably a hand hitting where my pant waistband is hitting my belly. that is a baby butt sticking out of my right ute side." And maybe I'm right, maybe I'm not. but...

We'll find out today! This is the fun appointment where I get the GBS test (yuck, swabbed) and an ultrasound to see how everything is progressing. I'm excited to see him again. I'm probably most curious about what he'll look like when he comes out. That's what I think about the most. Screw labor, how much hair is this kid gonna have? lol. So I will update when I get home tonight, hopefully! And I will be cleaning off the ottoman, and making tomato sauce and pickled peppers. Maybe I will go to the grocery store. I'm living on the edge.

1st Birthing Class

or as my mom called it, push the baby out class.

We got in, had to sit in the front because we were the last ones there (but were actually on time), story of my life. I seriously think this kid's coming in October just so it can be like its mom.

The woman who taught the class is a doula/mid-wife/RN, has had 4 daughters, and said one of the funniest things I've heard about birthing so far - I'll get to that later. She started off throwing a die and asking us to give however many details about ourselves that it landed on, superfun. I love introduction games. Stab. Me. Side note to that: everyone in there was a Philly sports fan except for the people next to us and us: Red Sox and Yankees. LOL.

We went over how the inner organs and ute changes during pg, what will happen up to birth, how the cervix looks, effacement, dilation, softening, etc. We'll also get to see a non-medicated birth and an epi-birth video. We went over a breathing technique also, which in addition to what I'm doing in babyyoga class should help me actually remember to breathe. Apparently I forget sometimes.

Oh, the funny part: she was pointing to one of the big diagram pictures and naming the parts, and she said something about the birth canal. "It's just another word for vagina, but when the baby comes out of it, they call it the birthing canal. You'll get your vagina back later ladies." LOL. Love it.

PS - do your kegels!

Hello, pregnancy changes.

So, it's been pretty uneventful so far, but this month I've been noticing some things that either are new and annoying or that I can no longer do. I thought for posterity's sake, and possibly other people/readers/internetstalkers, I'd make a list.

Because you all know how much I enjoy lists. And Excel spreadsheets. Muahahaha.

My stomach. It has become...ugly. Like an old man's head. (My apologies to any old men reading this...but it's kinda hairy in spots, and very pale, and round.)

The eating thing. Now that the kid is getting bigger, he's pushing all my other organs out of the way, which means that the muscles at the top of my stomach hurt, and my back starts to hurt as well whenever I eat a full meal. I am really going to have to start watching how much I eat at once now.

Is it the vitamins? I don't know. But I can now go a couple days in between washing my hair, which is great, but it's only about two days until my nails look like shit. The cuticles are in a race to see who can grow faster it seems, and since they don't break as much, if I don't cut them ALL THE TIME, I look very weird. Fake-nails weird.

Clothes. Oh, the spending I've done. And the laundry. And now? The bella band is too tight, so if I wear my regular pants (as I'm doing today because I ran out of mat pants and refused to shave so I could wear a dress), I have to wear a tank top (looooong one) and a giant tent of a mat shirt. Sure, the tent shirt looks "cute." But I'm pregnant here. Cute does not appeal to me anymore unless it is something in sizes newborn/0-3 and covered in elephants.

Sitting in my office chair. My tailbone is killing me! I have yet to get a butt pillow, and forgot a regular pillow at home this morning, so every time I get up/lean forward, my nerves scream out "remember your tailbone? and that cyst that used to be there? well the pain has come back to visit! make some tea and cake! it'll be here for a while!"

That is really all I can think of right now. Further updates to be marked with that cute-as-pie elephant, lol.

Dr's appt, weight gain, and lots of Chinese food.

That's primarily what it's been about this week. : )

(I'm lazy so here's the repost from BOTB)

From Tuesday AM: one of the muscles (I think) under right boob has been painful lately, and itchy, especially at night. I thought it might be the underwire bras I've been wearing, but since it's only on the right side, I'm not sure.

Now, it's kind of hot to the touch and a bit numb-feeling when I try to rub or itch it. I was on my way to tarjay tonight to get some new bras/underwear anyway, so if that's what it is then hopefully that will work.

there are a myriad of things in my body that have been being slowly squished up under the boobage lately, and I can't eat as much as I used to in one meal. whee! at least squash down there is ok, he's been practicing his tae kwon do with greater frequency. (I just picture him thinking "left elbow strike! #3 front kick!")

SOOO, I call the Dr, and they ask if I can come in at 2, which is fine, it'll probably be a short one. Hubs meets me there, go in, give a sample, pee allllll over my hand because I really have to go and it's comin out like a sprinkler head...
Per the dr, the weird muscle pain/itchiness/numbness is due to my uterus tilting to the right, and pushing on everything above it. lol. he said to put a heating pad on it a couple times a day if it keeps hurting, or take some tylenol. he looked at my GD results and noticed I have a tad low iron so I need to take those now as well as the regular supps.

I got to hear the hb again though, 132. go squash go! and thanks for making ma's body parts numb! lol. So the regular appt I was supposed to have on Monday is now canceled, and the next one is set for when I get back from vacation. Whee!


~ I really really love me some chicken and broccoli nowadays, which is probably contributing to my wonderful weight gain. I'm up to 189.2 on the home scale, which puts me at a gain of 12 lbs total. WOW. I'm thinking that now will be the time where I need to keep up with my walking and my healthy eating, because my body will need to respond well as small fry keeps squishing my innards, and getting ready to make his appearance.

I bought some pants and some onesies on clearance at tarjay last night, as well as two new underwire bras - which are FAB-O-LOUS. No headlights, and no scratchy parts. I got a nice jammie/dress thing too, I've just been so damn hot at night lately, and I'm pretty sure the fake velour cover on my body pillow is not helping. Ah well.


~ oh yeah, had another instance of BH-ish contraction yesterday. I had a certain stressful situation, which I'm not sure if that brings it on or the lack of water, but I stood up because I thought I might have to pee, and my whole lower abdomen section started to hurt. It tightened up, and my bladder felt even worse, but less like I had to pee and more like it was just generally unhappy. I refilled my water mug, chugged that down, and got another one, went to the br, leaned back in my chair, and just relaxed for a few minutes (hello again, yoga breathing) and it went away. It returned a bit later that night after hubs got home (hence thinking it might be the stress), but I drank a glass of water and went to bed and it was fine.

We'll just have to keep an eye on this small fry. I'm glad I have this blog in a way because it helps to keep a record of what's going on and when. yay for that much!

ok, back to work. *sigh*

omg, daycare.

formerly-pg-girl-at-work is talking about it. I hadn't even thought about it yet.

I am so not ready to have an outside baby in a couple months. I feel like I *just* started showing, therefore just became pregnant. This is somewhat terrifying.

Among my other fears:

♪ um, finding and paying for daycare?
♫ not being able to have the birth I want and going in for a c/s
♪ not bonding with my baby RIGHT NOW
♫ not being able to do the things I dreamed of doing back when I was going to be a SAHM
♪ getting the house ready for a small carbon-based lifeform
♫ how anything and everything I'm doing now and will do up until taking small fry home will affect him.

Goodness, if it was only small things...like, what crib do I pick? Or, how do I babyproof the house? Or, what are the best blankets to use for swaddling? Gar.

How did I ever think I could actually be ready for something so small, yet so damn HUGE?!?!

The thing about the bonding:
In pregyoga yesterday (thanks for the new name for it, bff), the teacher was talking about bonding with your baby now and talking to your baby. I've seen my friends with their kids, and they are not shy - they will sing to them, talk to them, etc. Well I'm a singer, but I've always been shy. I thought when I have kids, I'll make a list of songs I want to sing to them, and sing to them all the time, like my mom did for me.
However, I find myself not remembering anything but The Rainbow Connection and Baby Mine from Dumbo. If I can't sing to this kid now, in the shower, when I'm home BY MYSELF, how am I going to be when he comes, and I'm trying to rock him to sleep in my guest room nicely decorated nursery?

The thing about the affecting:
I keep hearing stories about how people's births affect them for the rest of their lives, especially when they themselves are parents. I don't think I have to worry about the when-said-child-gives-birth-themselves thing, unless my little trooper decides to become a troopette. 
But, I do wonder how my relationship now and my reaction to being pregnant will affect my child? It was an unplanned pregnancy, but that doesn't mean I love my child any less...does it? I mean, I worry about this a lot: will I love my child enough to prove that I want him? Will I be able to make up for him being a surprise? Do I even need to?
Will I be able to provide him with a wonderful birth so that I have one less thing to feel guilty about? If I'm terrified going into labor, will it affect him? If I have to have a c/s, will my disappointment affect him, or me after the fact?
This dilemma kind of reminds me of my favorite scene from Contact, where Matthew McHippie is talking about the existence of God to Jodie Foster: "Did you love your dad?" Jodie (taken aback): "yes!" McHippie: "Prove it."
I almost feel that since small fry was a surprise, I will now have to prove that I love him even more. Has anyone else out there in cyberspace ever felt this way? (Bueller? Bueller?)

Well I guess that's all for now, I think small fry is telling me he's hungry by head-butting my nethers. Next time: help me vote on bedding! (I know, an especially serious topic.)

ho-hum, 2nd tri.

Is it usually this uneventful?

So far, I've been unable to distinguish between what is a small fry movement and what may be gas. I have had a couple times where it feels like he's trying to escape though, and it's all I can do to say out loud "stop trying to escape through my lady bits dude!" They might think I was deranged or something.

I haven't really had any other "symptoms" that are normal, except the lack of pooping on a regular basis, but I am a little frustrated with my lack of weight gain. I'm going to chalk this one up to being overweight prior to getting knocked up. I'll bring it up with the doc next week, though I'm thinking it will be fine - as long as I start gaining sometime soon, I should be ok. I guess it depends on what I'm measuring too, although last appt that was perfectly normal. And you can tell I'm pg by looking at me now (I hope) - unless, of course, you're just predisposed to my odd-shaped stomach, which looks like the side of a peanut shell now, with two bumps. Since my uterus is past my belly button now (thanks WTE) that should be evening out soon.

I am pretty much done buying mat clothes now, especially since my bell-y-a-whatever band is coming in handy nowadays. I just think I need a few more shirts, since my prior wardrobe was all fitted and shorter and small fry's all poking out and such. But I really dread buying all of those tent-looking things. ON sale, here I come ::holds breath for longer shirts::

So...when does reality bite me?

As in, when am I going to feel like I'm actually pregnant, and there will be a kid that I have to take care of for the rest of my life, and I'll be poppin it out of my vag around September? Cause right now, I feel like a faker.

I just posted a reply in a "post here and win!" job over on 1st tri (hours of entertainment, that board), and it felt...wrong. Like I was just making it up to get the prize. Which would be great, but this time, not true. A.B. is actually down there, somewhere, under my six-pack of fat. (A.B. is alien baby, cause that's what I flash to when picturing giving birth.) The only reason I know, though, is because I haven't had AF in a loooong time (don't miss that), there were several tests, one dildocam, and loverly loverly nips of fiah and pg stomach.

When did it sink in for you?

Today might be a good day.

I'm going to the gym tonight. So exciting. I don't know why. But I think it's because of the new healthy kick I'm on. I went to tar-jay yesterday and got spinach, yogurt, goldfish (I blame brooke), and some other goodies. Couldn't find any pg or pre-natal dvds, so I just did regular yoga this morning.

Went to borders after that to pick up What To Expect... and got myself some grapefruit lip balm. Yum. I only read about 1/8 of the way into it, but there were a lot of sections I could skip. I glanced at Your Pregnancy Week by Week on the shelf, and I think I might get that too (coupon happy), just to know. My "symptoms" come and go - really, it's only one symptom - and it kind of has me freaked out. I know I'm not alone in this, as evidenced by a post on BOTB this morning by my almost-chart-twin. She doesn't know I'm stalking her. Yet.

Still don't know whether or not I should "come out" on BOTB. I was going to wait until Monday, but I just don't know. My biggest fear is that I will offend someone, or make someone completely depressed/unhappy because I had a surprise and they've been trying so hard for so long. So, I don't know.

What makes me feel better: text message from hubs saying that he wants to be a good husband and dad (wow, still scary!). : )

What to Expect

When You're Expecting: has been boughten.

Look out, interwebs. I'm armed with book-learnin' now.

A Word About Diet.

Ok, not really a word, but lots of them. Go ahead, google "pregnancy diet." I dare you. While it doesn't bring up as many horrific things as, say, googling "fleet enema" or "dirty sanchez," it's still terrifying.

What if I eat lunchmeat that is - GASP - unheated? What if I eat cheese that is unpasteurized? ::faints::
There are about eight million rules and guidelines you could follow while eating for 1.5, as evidenced by the millions of posts about it on 1st Tri. I accidentally ordered the wrong sammich last night (I love saying sammich; don't hate) and got turkey instead of grilled chicken. It still came with the awesome honey mustard sauce, so worked either way - but I was a bit hesitant. With all the information floating around out there, how do we actually manage to gain any weight at all during pregnancy? And, can I have honey mustard?!?!?!

Since I haven't had my 1st appt with the Dr yet, I'm going to use the expiration date rule: if you have to think about it, throw it out. So, if I spend too much time wondering whether or not I should eat something, I should probably just give up, save the brain cells for something more useful, and move on to the next craving.

Here are some of the diets I've seen out there from web sites I'd actually trust:
WebMD's Diet Do's and Don'ts ~ The famous home of TMI gives you their list.
March of Dimes Healthy Diet ~ Good information from an ultra-supportive baby site.
Mayo Clinic Esssential Nutrients When Eating for Two ~ Thanks for reminding me, Mayo Clinic. A helpful list of what nutrients you need, how much, and where to find them.

Here are some from sites I'm interested in:
Bradley Birth pregnancy diet ~ um...at first I thought the webpage background was dividing cells. It does give you a protein counter. And tells you to have 3 pats of butter.
What to Expect's pregnancy diet ~ This is actually the first place I went for information, because it's all in the same place.
Eating Well pregnancy diet recipes and menus ~ RECIPES! Just what I don't need more of! ::plans another binder full::

And, here are some...other interesting...ones...:
Blue Ribbon Baby ~ When you want your kid to come in first at that state fair.
Fit and Healthy Pregnancy ~ from the site: Why the Food Pyramid Guide and Traditional Exercise Advice Will Make You Fat and Unhealthy, and Put Both You and Your Baby at Serious Risk.
Indian Food Diet ~ The name says it all: Indian Food Forever. Banana, mango, cashewnuts and apricots are enough to make me sign up for this one.

So, my current list for the store:
Spinach
Juice (I need something in the morning other than water)
Milk
Cucumber
Cascadian Farms fiber bar thingies

umm...that's it so far. I will be perusing the sites above to see what else I can get.
The good thing about being pg right now is that I have a month or two until the really good produce starts popping up, and then I have fresh stuff for the rest of my pregnancy. I really can't wait until the berries start coming up, because I'm craving strawberry shortcake something fierce.

And on the heels of that...

Symptoms so far:

Smell. I can smell everything. It's not fun, especially when there are about 5 smokers in my office.

"Sour Stomach." Tums are my new best friend. I have what feels like gas all the time, and I feel like I have to burp, but nothing happens. And when I wake up in the morning, I have that need to eat something now or OH MY GOD I'M GONNA HURL feeling. Which is followed during the day by I think I'm hungry SOMEONE GET ME SOME FOOD RIGHT NOW DAMMIT.

Also, my first appt is Feb 16th. What do I do until then? Should I keep taking tests to make sure I'm still KU? I know to watch for spotting, etc., but what do you do really when you're waiting for that 1st appt?

Oh, btw, I will "come out" on BOTB, but not until a little later. I'm feeling guilty, terrified, and a wee bit giddy all at once, and I don't know if I can handle all the judging just yet. And I really really really feel awful that this didn't happen for all the other ladies there and happened for me who wasn't even praying for it. They deserve this more than I.