1) Lady Gaga.
A) She stole her hair from Cher - seriously, give it back; she does a much better job in the wig department.
B) you're really going to take that wig and make a HAIR BOW with it?!?!
C) learn to dance and not just hunch your shoulders and move your legs.
D) stop riding killer whales. even if they're floats in a kiddie pool, that's disgusting and they're endangered.
E) I think you might be a man like Katy Perry.
2) Having to buy a single-serving pack of cheddar Flat Earth chips at work because your husband ate almost the whole bag you bought at the store last week.
3) JCREW free shipping emails - off of your first million dollars spent.
4) STILL not being warm enough to walk the dogs in the morning. I don't go outside for anything under 30.
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