New Mayan Calendar: I take over the world.

Day One: accomplished. (That would be day one of my new existence as a stay-at-home mom, or SAHM.) However, it wasn't a new routine since we're going on vacation this Friday - it's "let's try to ascertain what exactly we'll need for a week in Disney with three families and taking the train to Florida and getting a rental car." Soooo, my dreams of being a Pinterest-worthy SAHM are squashed, for now. I did fold one load of laundry so far. I also went to Old Navy and Tarjay. Super-mom! Lolz. Bright side? I think I have two Christmas presents left to purchase/make, and I am aiming for cookies sometime this week, which should be interesting. I also have a pinterest craft, but it may fall by the wayside in lieu of packing. Because, really, what do you pack for a totally different climate when it involves a train for part of the time? hmm. Kid survived, all is good.

The Burrito Eats; and other small plates of food

I'm not sure where I was, but I was out at a store (shocker), probably tarjay (another shocker), and saw these awesome plastic partitioned lunch-tray-type plates. So I bought some for the kid. Because, who doesn't like lunchable-style shit?

That's right, no one. I'm pretty sure even that baby who doesn't like Jimmy Fallon free money likes lunchables.

So sometimes for dinner, I make him a little plate of a bunch of different things so he can pick and choose as he likes. Because I know picking and choosing are a toddler's favorite things (and it all belongs to him of course, even if he doesn't choose it).

mamarazzi, I'm eating here.

Also on my list of fun small bites: a fun appetizer I first had at my friend's house, made by her momma, when I was like 13. And now I'm old and shit. But don't think I'm old. Which is made even more clear by the interns from local colleges at work *sniff*.

It's really simple: slice baguette in rounds about 3/4 inch thick, add mayonnaise (the real stuff, we like fat), a cucumber slice, and some Krazy Salt. It's real, I promise:







Also fun to snack on? Cookies. I had some extra time and almost a full bag of chocolate chips one day, so I decided to grab the bull by the horns and make some cookies.

mmm, cookies

 All of these are fast and pretty easy, which are good for nights when I don't feel like cooking or cleaning, but want something familiar. I mean, if we're talking comfort food, you know it's going to take me forever. I can't even nuke a can of soup in under a minute.

Mmm...bacon

So with this whole new Paleo thing I am actually trying to eat more bacon. I almost never ate bacon before, but since meats are our friends, I bought a package.

As anyone who has been in my house when there is food being prepared can attest to - I am a wuss. A big wuss. Giant one. I don't like doing anything where there is a chance of something blowing up or catching on fire. Hence, I have only cooked bacon once before in my life.

I made bacon my bitch this week when one of the girls from BotB said how she had cooked it in the oven. I thought to myself, there is no chance of anything catching on fire if everything is lined properly and the toddler stays out of the kitchen...let's give this thing a go!

Well my friends, it was awesome.

Ingredients:
Bacon

Directions:
Lay bacon gently on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Stick it in the cold oven and turn the oven to 400. Let the bacon alternately chill and sizzle for 17-20 minutes, however done you like it. Put it on a paper towel-lined plate after you take it out, because it will keep cooking on the sheet. Oh, and you can save the bacon fat for later too if you want - mmm, bacon fat potatoes. Not as good as duck fat potatoes, but it's not like I've had either so far (fear of things that may cause fires and all).

Le Bacon:

Le Bacon in use - my Paleo lunch:

I cut up cucumber slices, tomato slices, and avocado, and stuck everything between two cuke slices and ate them like sammiches. It was a fab bite-size lunch.

The One Where I Start to Meal-Plan

Soooooooo...I'm plotting. Lots of things, actually. But one of these plots involves planning. That sounds bad, in a funeral-home way - I'm not dying, nor is anyone else (hopefully) promise! I need to start getting more organized about life, especially with my new-found ADD-ness, and that means planning. Household cleaning planning, meal planning, five calendars-type planning.

My new meal planning will involve some aspects of the new Paleo craze that's going around. I think it's awesome, because it allows you to have ATB for every meal (avocado, tomato, bacon). Of course, no more grains (wah wah wahhhhhh). But I won't be doing the Whole30 completely, just modifying our meal planning to include more of the things in the hunter-gatherer menu and less of the refined/processed stuff, white flour and sugar and all that.

So, what I'm thinking on the dinner front is one whole-grain meal per week (I usually plan for dinner 5 nights a week and then wing it on the weekends - leftovers will suffice too), and the rest will be fruit-veg-meat. It will require actually learning how to cook beef that is not ground. But you know, if I can make my own taco salad, I'm pretty sure I'll be awesome at the rest. ::puts on charlie sheen winning button::

I will not stop baking though, don't you worry your pretty little heads about that. I use whole wheat flour now and I will continue that but also will start adding in some Paleo-inspired goods also - almond flour, coconut oil, etc. So, here begins my push to start eating whole...er... yeah.

Look, I made stuff!

I made taco salad! I feel so accomplished. Dinner, 0. Cat, 1. I mean, really, all I did was throw shit together.
But it was semi-healthy and cheap-ish. And I made it. Did I mention that?...  

Taco Salad
Ingredients: 
3/4 lb ground beef (I used organic 90% lean) 
1/2 tsp garlic powder 
1/2 tsp garlic salt 
1 tsp chili powder 
1 tsp cumin 
1/4 tsp oregano (these measurements are probably off, I just shake stuff in the pan) 
1/2 beefsteak tomato, chopped 
1/2 avocado, diced 
1/2 can niblet corn 
1/2 c black beans, rinsed 
salsa 

 Directions: I browned and chopped the beef (hellooooo pampered chef most useful tool evah), then added the spices and a couple spoonfuls of water. I added the black beans and corn while the stove was still on to warm them up, then mixed in the tomato and avocado after I took the pan off of the heat. 

Served on top of lettuce with ranch dressing and Newman's Own Mild salsa. So. Freaking. Awesome.

You're going to have to deal with the picture, because I ate it before I could photograph it. So you get leftovers, enjoy internets!

Verdict:

Making a comeback

at least, that's what I hope to be doing. We have a plan: for me to morph into a stay-at-home mom (SAHM for those of you not hip to the mommy-blogger lingo) by October of this year, at the latest. nervous{squee} We're working on ways to save money and cut down on spending, including saving energy, less eating out, and family cloth. Totally kidding about that last one, guys. I don't mess around with the miracles of modern indoor plumbing and its accoutrements. Anywho, I hope to come back here more frequently, with more updates about life with toddler, both while working and while working my arse off at home. To remind myself, here are some of the things I had planned to write about, but didn't get to yet: - the burrito's feeding habits - recycling toddler toys - trying to get him to sit on his potty - buying him a baby doll - his love of babyfirst tv - his budding vocabulary, including his immense use of the Klingon language (entitled "From dog to doch") - climbing everything and using the windowsill as his own personal gymnastic beam In closing, here is a picture of the kid to keep you coming back for more:

Home Safety - "childproofing"

What, I haven't been here for months, you say? Pssh. I'll just ignore that for now and come back to it in another post... ::distracts you with glow sticks::

I pull out pages and dog-ear magazines to be saved for later - things I want, rooms and colors and fabrics I like, crafts to be made, recipes to test. Pinterest has been great for this, as now I can recycle those magazines and pages and my husband will not have to burn the house down (oh wait, it was me who threatened that...). I'm totally kidding - we will NOT burn the house down, lurking insurance people.

So I ran across one that I just had to write down, as i can't really pin an article, and secondly - I have no idea from what magazine it came. Oops.

Home Safety - here are the suggestions it makes:

ENTIRE HOUSE
Safety locks on windows
Outlet covers
Smoke & Carbon Monoxide detectors
Corner protectors & edge cushions
Cord Shorteners
TV/DVD guard
Safety gates
Tips - keep batteries and purses out of reach. Keep space heaters away from baby.

We don't have extra safety locks on the windows currently because it's winter and they're ALL locked regularly. The only ones he can get to would be our bedroom windows, and I won't leave him in there unsupervised unless they are locked.
Outlet covers, smoke & CO detectors - CHECK. And Hubs changed the batts a few weeks ago.
Corner protectors, edge cushions - the only thing I can see him running into that has a sharp corner is the TV stand, and there is currently a bag of clothes from Hubs' SIL living there. I can't really think of any other sharp edges in our house. We don't have a fireplace, so I don't need to block it off with 18 baby gates (you know I would).
Cord shorteners - the only place he is left unsupervised where there are cords is the living room, where we have a lamp on the end table, our computer chargers, and the phone plugged in. Since we're geniuses, we put a baby gate in front of the whole thing, lol. And, I remixed it with the help of some velcro straps to make NOTHING stick out.
TV/DVD guard - you're looking at her. Er, listening...reading...her?
Safety gate - (see cord shorteners.) We have one at the basement steps, because right now the heat is on and that door is open. We have one at the end table, and one at the top of the stairs which can be used either in the hall to keep him away from the bathroom, for when we have the space heater on there before we give him a bath (it gets shut off if he is in there), or can be used at the top of the stairs with a little finagling - has to be VERY tight.

NURSERY
Screw-in door stoppers to keep doors from closing and locking
Finger pinch guard on doors and toy boxes
Crib rail teether
Baby monitor

Since our house was built in 1925 (yes we've had his bloodwork done, no signs of lead), most of our doors don't actually close. Getting the dingy, dust-hoarding carpet out and Killz-ing the bathroom was a priority when we bought it, lol. I have a planer, but didn't get there yet. So, the screw-in door stoppers to keep them from locking? Not necessary; we don't have any doors that lock other than the front and back. And the story of the front door locking is for ANOTHER POST ENTIRELY.
As for finger-pinch guards? he's learning now to close doors, and how they work, and I am of the school that he should learn what happens and not have to keep a contraption on the door until all of our (present and future) kids are in college.
Our toy box is actually a Longaberger laundry basket which we re-purposed for that, so no shutting of any lids there!
Crib rail teether - He hasn't chewed on his crib yet, hopefully he won't! But if he does, I will revisit this topic then, because our crib has a ledge for a rail.
Baby monitor - check. Got that one before he was born. Still use it if he's playing in his room or taking a nap somewhere throughout the house.

KITCHEN
Cabinet locks & drawer latches
Appliance knob covers & latches
Stove & burner guards
Tips: Keep cleaning products and sharp objects out of reach. Keep a list of important and emergency numbers handy. Never seat baby on the counter. Turn pot handles to the back of the stove.

The only cabinet in our kitchen which is currently latched is the under-sink one which has the cleaning products, trash bags, and vases. All of the other cabinets (two total) either have tupperware, which I let him play in, much to my husband's chagrin - I think it's totally cute when he sits in the cabinet and bangs plastic lids on things and sees how many ice cube trays he can fit in my iced tea pitcher. he's a toddler. it makes him happy. Or, they contain his food, bibs, and cups, which is semi-impossible for him to open currently due to the construction of the cabinet (1925, remember?) and the type of handle - cup drawer pull. There are only two more drawers within his reach, the muffin tin/cookie sheet/cake pan drawer, which I'm *pretty sure* I'll hear the second he pulls something out, and the pot holders and bread drawer. No harm there unless he tries to smother himself in pot holders. Or pretzels and graham crackers, which are currently the only things in my bread drawer, because I'm THAT person who keeps her bread in the frig. And spells refrigerator frig for short.
But I digress. Appliance knob covers - all of my appliances have no knobs within his reach - controls are on the back of the stove, and it's a glass-top; dishwasher buttons are on the top of the door, and there's a lock.
Stove & burner guards - I will have to look into something like this for when he gets a little taller, because we do have a glass-top and if he goes to put his hands up there it may hurt him. Obviously I've been teaching him "HOT" and not to touch, but y'know...toddlers.
Emergency numbers - on the frig, and I have a "babysitters' info sheet" with a dry-erase marker too.

BATHROOM
Toilet latch
Bathtub soft spout cover
Nonskid tub mat
Cabinet locks
Childproof containers
Tip: Keep all medications securely out of baby's reach.

I'm going to check on toilet latches this week, and am getting a whale-y cover at tarjay as well. We don't need a nonskid tub mat yet, because I'm still using his tub - it's ginormous, but uses less water than filling the whole tub, and has an incline so I can rinse his head w/o getting water in his toddler eyeballs.
Cabinet locks - we only have one cabinet in our bathroom, and it is currently held closed with a jack-o'lantern hair tie. SOOOO, yes I need to put latches on that one.
We have all of our medications in the kitchen in our medicine box in the cabinet above the sink, so he won't be able to get to them for another year, and hopefully in that time I will have taught him that climbing on the counters is NOT GOOD and will get you a seat on the TIME-OUT BENCH and possibly NO DESSERT. Or something.

Well, hopefully you have enjoyed that foray into my shopping list for this week, heh heh.