Yes, I'm complaining about complaining.

So I like to vent occasionally about how life isn't perfect and not exactly what I want it to be right now. Everyone does it. Am I of the camp that If you don't do anything to change it, you should just shut up? Not really - freedom of speech is a pretty good thing, and you're never going to stop all the people all of the time from complaining. I have this argument with myself every four years or so around November, because of the inevitable voting gossip, and the amount of people who every year remark "if you don't vote, you don't have any right to complain about the outcome."

I may ignore you if you complain an insane inordinate incomprehensible amount though. I think venting is good to some degree, but there are those that take it too far. A lot of them live in my state. I had a discussion about this with hubs recently - he was remarking that it seems like the culture in our area is more prone to complaining and whining that others. I found that interesting, and would totally have researched it had I been in psych or soc 101.

But I digress. Recently I was venting about parental things - I believe it was when I was talking to someone at work about a dinner plan for some night in the near future - and my complaint went something like, I would like to have more time at night to be able to go out and do things, but right now with my schedule (getting home from work really late at different times each night) and with the burrito's needs (eat, eat, play, eat, sleep and maybe fuss a bit in there) I don't really like to mess up the home-night-life so that he gets more out of whack. And I've been noticing something when I complain lately: some other mothers keep saying "well I've done that before" or "yeah, we used to do that too" or even "we had it worse."

So, I figure I can take this three ways:

1) person listening is one-upping me 

2) person listening wants me to shut it

3) I am seriously failing at life in general if everyone I talk to keeps saying they've done it and I can't.

For 1 and 2, I'm pretty sure that I may  be underestimating the amount or tone of my complaining and I should just stop and solve my problems on my own. Pity party at home, with some alcoholic beverages instead. Whine to the dog, text my sister. For a set time limit. And then move on.

Maybe I'll use a timer.

Poor dog.

But for 3, ah, well that is a horse of a different color. Because lately? I totally feel like I am failing at life in general. I know that people have done what I have done. I know that I can use every hour of every day. But when I have ten unfinished projects around my house, laundry to be folded, and a sink full of dishes - and I just got the kid to sleep and all I want to do is write a blog entry and go to bed so I can get up to exercise and oh my good lord it's 11 and I'm running out of time - then, THEN, I feel #3.

Am I alone in this? I don't think so. But it would be nice to know others struggle(d) with it.

Question mark?

Meaning, I'm not sure how to title this one. I want to write more here; lots more, in fact. It's one of the coolest things I like to do online, along with Pinterest, which is slowly replacing all my magazine clippings (insert hubs' excited face here).

But recent happenings have made me want to dig deeper into why I want to write. First off, I love writing and anything having to do with writing. My dream job at 15 was to be a book editor in NYC. I was the master of essays in high school - I could polish off one of those babies in 20 minutes (5 paragraphs, with thesis statement). I still yearn to be an English teacher when I grow up.

But what makes me want to share my thoughts/feelings/opinions/experiences with you, O Mighty Interwebz? Probably what I like to think of as my inner teacher/showoff. I love teaching. Sometimes, it gets to the point where I'm not sure if I've passed the "instruction" line and gone all the way to "because I know so."

Now I have been seeing lately that some so-called Mommy Blogs have become focused on one thing or another - you can tell some are about the dough, some are about photography, some are about daily struggles faced by many moms. I go back and forth between wanting to write to help people who may be in the same position, and wanting to be a blogger that people follow, and look up to, and enjoy - and who people recommend. I want to be humble, but don't want to end up shouting "look over here! Look how humble I am!"

So I'm going to look at the reason I started this blog: 1) to keep a record of my journey and Good Things I find along the way ::coughmarthacough:: 2) as a place for me to come to and vent, write, and share - with a possible side effect being advising others, but remembering that's not my main purpose. One of my favorite quotes, author not recalled, goes "the best way to give advice to the young is to give it and be uninterested as to whether or not they take it."

So, you may see some things that you don't know about me on here. I will be posting more about my daily struggles. You will see some bad things, and sad things, and whiny things. If you don't care to read, that's fine. If you care to comment, please do! If my choices have helped you in some way, that is a very welcome side effect.

Tuesday List

Yes, that's right, I'm so behind in everything that this Tuesday list is coming out on a Thursday.

Or, I changed what day it is - I'm cool like that. More powerful than the World's Greatest Spokesperson in the World, more awesome than the awesomest babysitter. And, I watch too many TV commercials.

So, here goes:

1) clean your damn kitchen floor already, GOSH
2) decide on the burrito's 1st bday invitations (deadline: Monday) and send them out (deadline: Friday)
3) do laundry
4) clean up the sunroom, including the island and cabinets, and the dog's bed and kennel
5) give the poor dog a bone bath
5.1)brush the poor dog's teeth, then give him a bone
6) figure out weekend schedule, what with dinners, my aunt visiting from Fla, hubs working, and vacay bible school on Sunday
7) take the Burrito's 10 month pics on Saturday (technically, 10.5 months, but WHO CARES! Not you! I order you not to care! Besides, you get a supremely cute picture in exchange for not noticing the date...)
8) do something that closely resembles exercise.

Well, there you have it folks. A glimpse into my day-to-day listmaking. Also, Lefty, I want to publicly apologize for the amount of time it took me to find my way to the pumping room. I know, I hurt your mammary-feelings. Blame those damn chips I move across the country. Have I mentioned hating my job before? No? Then here's your quarter for the day.

Peace!

(aaaaaand, I'm so behind that this was posted on a Friday!)