Long Nights, Impossible Baby

As a person, I know that not every day can be a good one. You'll have nights where you don't want to do anything but veg out on the couch and watch Conan. Which is totally what I'd do If I could stay up that late but - who does that anymore???

Now as a mother, I know that these nights are tenfold when small carbon-based lifeforms are involved. Especially when one or more of us is sick or fussy, or god help us teething. And there are points when burrito has been crying and he's not hungry or wet and just wants to be held but I feel nauseated and my back hurts and why can't he just tell me what he wants?? And I just feel like taking him by the shoulders like I would my husband and shaking him and yelling "what do you want!"

BUT OBVIOUSLY cannot do this. One, don't shake babies. It's just not good manners. It was one of those things we were taught early on, along with don't eat yellow snow and don't run with scissors.

Second, it will accomplish nothing. He still won't be able to tell me what's wrong, and odds are If I do anything he doesn't like he'll start in with the full-on banshee cry instead of being just a fussy baby. His fussy noise goes "meeeeeh meeeeeh" btw, which when uttered with downturned lips and pitiful face sounds a lot like he's lamenting that his mother is a disgrace. I can see the tell-all books now. (no wire hangers!!!1!11!!!)

I have found that laying him down and letting him kick while I take a moment to breathe helps. I have also found that he enjoys the alphabet song and oddly enough, "hit the road jack." so I rock him back and forth and sing. Or, lay on the bed while he flops around like a fish and sing.

Another gem I discovered this morning? A little thing I call the surprise mirror. I hold him with my back to the mirror, then spin around so we can see our reflections in the mirror while doing my best impression of that stunned squirrel-type thing that was all over the intertubes years ago. I even try to make the dramatic noises. He loved it. Totally weird, I know.

So there's your weekly update on the fussy part of my life. Which, coincidentally, happened last night (er, June 1st, hehe) every hour save 1 to 5 am. Yup, I got 4 hours of sleep. Someday I will punish him for this by showing his prom date embarassing baby/toddler pictures and wearing white go-go boots to pick him up from school.

Thank you, Saint Anthony

You found my supply!

Last week I thought it was totally gone. I had been reading Kellymom.com and it said to still nurse when you are sick - well I was so dehydrated last week that I didn't think to keep nursing when I could barely move much less make any milk. I only skipped one nursing session, but apparently it KILLED my supply. I was barely pumping 3oz, and he was waking through the night to nurse. But nurse I did, as much as possible, and today? I'm at 7oz and counting at my morning pump. Whee!

So, future self who is sick and tired and wondering what the hell happened to your body/milk/youth (ok that last one really doesn't count I guess...):

~ drink gatorade. 2 L per day to be precise.
~ decide to start off your "new beginning of your diet" as healthy and stock up on chicken broth, greens, and whole grain items.
~ when supply has not resumed its normal schedule after one week, throw diet out the window and eat everything in sight including tons of oatmeal in a last-ditch effort to increase milk.
~ lose one pound and find milk supply back to normal.

There you have it. Eat, eat, eat. Kind of counter-intuitive when you consider all the healthy-eating i've been striving for, but oh well. At least it's not all chocolate cake! Here's been my foods of choice, and by choice, I mean what I have around the house after the baptism party on Sunday:
Mini sammiches from a tray from local store. Turkey, ham, roast beast and chicken salad with some Swiss on potato or pretzel rolls.
Potato salad.
Grapes, apples, and lettuce (oh my) and the occasional tomato.
Sunchips, triscuits, pretzels.
Pizza from local shop.
Iced tea and milk.
Egg sammich and oatmeal.

Now I'm hungry again...

you're damn right.

I have not made anything new in the last year. Er, wait...when was the last time I was here? D'oh.

Well that will all change, because my bff is getting married in January, and I'm sick of this extra baby weight (oh who am I kidding, it's cake weight) I'm carrying around. Plus? I don't like scrounging up food or scouring the frig for any old thing - I need to start eating real food. Like, the kind that normal people eat. Plus? I'd like to start instilling healthy eating habits in the burrito.

Here's the burrito just for reference:

Cutest damn thing evah? I think so.

And now he is stirring, so I'll say good night, and good luck. To myself. Trying to eat like a healthy person. Grapes, spinach, wheat bread in the frig - I'm referencing you.

stupid bug.

So my memorial day weekend was shaping up to be ok - had to work Monday, but it was only 5 hours, so no big deal. We had a giant heat wave knock us into the 90's so I wasn't that hungry Monday, which didn't really bother me as I am trying to whittle down the muffin.

However, later that night, after I had a turkey sandwich and ice cream I had been craving, the GI Bug that had been brewing reared its ugly head. I was nauseated for a full two hours before my stomach gave its entire haul for the day back to the porcelain throne. After that, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Every muscle in my body ached, and my back was killing me. I turned the AC down many times that night, trying to get comfortable.
Hubs had to deal with a slightly fussy burrito, and I kept apologizing for not helping (when I was coherent that is). He kept reminding me that I'm not the only parent... Oops. Fail on my part!

So Tuesday I called off of work and headed to the doc while hubs dropped burrito at daycare - with a frozen bag of milk, as I hadn't pumped enough the day before, tyvm bug. Got my info, stopped at the store, got some gatorade and chicken noodle soup. Slept. It was glorious. Until time came for hubs to leave for work, at which time it was just me and a fussy pre-bed burrito. Thoughts which were running through my head included: how did Mom do this?, can the dog entertain him, can I put out a mass request for help on FB?

Eventually after nursing 4 times, he was satisfied and fell asleep in the bed with me. We woke again at 130 to turn down the AC and eat, and 330 to eat, 630 for the day and he ate again at 745, which is hopefully telling my body he still needs milk.

Unfort, I am still running on gatorade and just starting to eat solids again. Hopefully I can ramp it up and be able to pump enough for at least half the day tomorrow. I have one bag of freezer stash available and I don't want to send formula...but If the kid needs to eat... *sigh* stupid bug.