The one where I buy a box of Magnum.

No, not those kind of Magnums. The kind in the frozen section of the store which contain chocolate. Wonderful, wonderful chocolate.

So this morning while I was on the phone with my mom about the stray cat my sister picked up and tried to save which bit her and could possibly have rabies (they sent it to get tested), the Burrito decides to wake up and play in the toilet.

There was pee in the toilet. And tp. Apparently it was his new game.

SO, things I did this morning/afternoon?

• bathed toddler
• wiped every surface in bathroom with bleach
• took sheets off of beds just in case he tried to climb up them
• threw out his paci
• went to Target for new bathroom rug
• bought bag of fun-size Milky Ways and box of Magnum dark chocolate ice cream bars
• craved copious amounts of alcohol
• said "eff this" and went to Wendy's for lunch
• left said toddler in the car with a/c on while I took everything into the house and only thought about someone taking him and car for two seconds before The Ransom of Red Chief popped into my head.

It didn't help that this morning was also hitting day, spill your watermelon on the floor day, throw a ball at the end table which has a lamp and glass of water on it day, and run into every wall you can day.

But we did snag some spectacular finds at tarjay, thanks Leslie for this idea:

I told him to hold the box of choc-pb pop tarts (yes, they exist!!) but apparently what he heard was "clutch them like they will stop the apocalypse"

6:19

6:19. Six. Nineteen. AM.

That is what my clock said this morning when hubs came in and plopped a toddler in my bed. He was up getting ready for work (early shift at second job) and apparently thought that the burrito needed to come in bed with me.

Ten minutes later, he starts poking and kicking me, and I realize he has no paci, which helps soothe him back to sleep if he wakes up. So, get up, get paci, give to kid, go downstairs, try not to kill husband, let dog out and feed him (Leroy will start whining the second hubs leaves the house for some reason if he's still in his kennel), and go back up to bed.

I didn't get back to sleep until 7:30, which was superb because the burrito decided to wake for good at 8. Yaaaaay. Ah well. It was a mom's group gtg day anyway, so playplace for breakfast it was!

And of course that brings us to naptime - he's not taking it well these days. This weekend he was gated in his room and played with his books and blocks for an hour before falling asleep. Great, whatever. Past two days? Oh, the screaming. It's what we've always done, pick whatever toy you want to take with you, let's go upstairs. Nope! Not having it today or yesterday. I had to carry him up and put him in his bed, and yesterday it was about 45 minutes of alternating between crying, yelling "let me outta my room mama," and letting out these awesome banshee-type cries, which if he was in danger would come in handy, but in a townhome all they do is alert the neighbours you may be attacking your child and CPS should be on speeddial. ::repeat:: Yaaaay.

So, a new timer or clock is on our list of things to procure, and he can henceforth go to his room for "quiet time" if necessary, if he naps good (he apparently passed out after only 15 minutes of screaming today), if not, fine, but I need a little bit of time alone if we're going to keep up this work schedule that hubs has going.

*sigh* I miss these days

The genius that is pregnancy brain.

So, I have the big ultrasound (anatomy scan, and also where you can find out the sex of the baby if you would like) in April. April 18th, to be exact (or so I thought on Monday)... I went looking for the card with my appointment info on it, and found it at precisely 10:55 Monday March 11th. The April appointment info was on the back of a card listing my MARCH appointment...

Wait for it...

Which was listed at 10:45 on Monday March 11th. Pure. Genius. They should bottle this so people could prank their friends, like putting ex-lax in brownies: "lol, you just drank that! I put pregnancy brain in it. You'll be confused and forgetful the rest of the day!!!1!1!!"

SO, then we were supposed to go to a mom's group playdate at local restaurant with playplace for the kids. There are several of these around, but I thought when glancing at the website for the mom's group, I had the right location. It's pouring out, natch, and we actually get there FIVE MINUTES EARLY (this never happens), and order some breakfast. I look around - it's now 10:00 - there's no one here that even remotely resembles a mom with or without a child. Hmm...at 10:05, I asked them if they could make my order to go instead, because I have a sinking feeling that I picked the wrong location. Check the website: playplace, across from tarjay. Ok, we're here...WAIT...both of the playplaces in the area are across from tarjay...and the city name is not where I live, it's the nearby city, which means...I HAVE THE WRONG ONE!

I post a comment in the mom's group saying I'm going to be about 15 minutes late and we leave, eating our breakfast in the car on the way. Get to playplace #2. Couple of moms inside, with kids. I ask if they are from the mom's group. Um...no, what mom's group? Fuck. Apparently I was right the first time, it's just that everyone else was late. See? More proof of how the universe wants me to be late. *sigh* I posted again in the group, something about how today just wasn't going the right way, I'll take an actual "rain check" and see them at the next playplace playdate. I just didn't have the heart to go into the story, although I'm sure just writing "pregnancy brain" would suffice.

Making a comeback

at least, that's what I hope to be doing. We have a plan: for me to morph into a stay-at-home mom (SAHM for those of you not hip to the mommy-blogger lingo) by October of this year, at the latest. nervous{squee} We're working on ways to save money and cut down on spending, including saving energy, less eating out, and family cloth. Totally kidding about that last one, guys. I don't mess around with the miracles of modern indoor plumbing and its accoutrements. Anywho, I hope to come back here more frequently, with more updates about life with toddler, both while working and while working my arse off at home. To remind myself, here are some of the things I had planned to write about, but didn't get to yet: - the burrito's feeding habits - recycling toddler toys - trying to get him to sit on his potty - buying him a baby doll - his love of babyfirst tv - his budding vocabulary, including his immense use of the Klingon language (entitled "From dog to doch") - climbing everything and using the windowsill as his own personal gymnastic beam In closing, here is a picture of the kid to keep you coming back for more:

Question mark?

Meaning, I'm not sure how to title this one. I want to write more here; lots more, in fact. It's one of the coolest things I like to do online, along with Pinterest, which is slowly replacing all my magazine clippings (insert hubs' excited face here).

But recent happenings have made me want to dig deeper into why I want to write. First off, I love writing and anything having to do with writing. My dream job at 15 was to be a book editor in NYC. I was the master of essays in high school - I could polish off one of those babies in 20 minutes (5 paragraphs, with thesis statement). I still yearn to be an English teacher when I grow up.

But what makes me want to share my thoughts/feelings/opinions/experiences with you, O Mighty Interwebz? Probably what I like to think of as my inner teacher/showoff. I love teaching. Sometimes, it gets to the point where I'm not sure if I've passed the "instruction" line and gone all the way to "because I know so."

Now I have been seeing lately that some so-called Mommy Blogs have become focused on one thing or another - you can tell some are about the dough, some are about photography, some are about daily struggles faced by many moms. I go back and forth between wanting to write to help people who may be in the same position, and wanting to be a blogger that people follow, and look up to, and enjoy - and who people recommend. I want to be humble, but don't want to end up shouting "look over here! Look how humble I am!"

So I'm going to look at the reason I started this blog: 1) to keep a record of my journey and Good Things I find along the way ::coughmarthacough:: 2) as a place for me to come to and vent, write, and share - with a possible side effect being advising others, but remembering that's not my main purpose. One of my favorite quotes, author not recalled, goes "the best way to give advice to the young is to give it and be uninterested as to whether or not they take it."

So, you may see some things that you don't know about me on here. I will be posting more about my daily struggles. You will see some bad things, and sad things, and whiny things. If you don't care to read, that's fine. If you care to comment, please do! If my choices have helped you in some way, that is a very welcome side effect.

Tuesday List

Yes, that's right, I'm so behind in everything that this Tuesday list is coming out on a Thursday.

Or, I changed what day it is - I'm cool like that. More powerful than the World's Greatest Spokesperson in the World, more awesome than the awesomest babysitter. And, I watch too many TV commercials.

So, here goes:

1) clean your damn kitchen floor already, GOSH
2) decide on the burrito's 1st bday invitations (deadline: Monday) and send them out (deadline: Friday)
3) do laundry
4) clean up the sunroom, including the island and cabinets, and the dog's bed and kennel
5) give the poor dog a bone bath
5.1)brush the poor dog's teeth, then give him a bone
6) figure out weekend schedule, what with dinners, my aunt visiting from Fla, hubs working, and vacay bible school on Sunday
7) take the Burrito's 10 month pics on Saturday (technically, 10.5 months, but WHO CARES! Not you! I order you not to care! Besides, you get a supremely cute picture in exchange for not noticing the date...)
8) do something that closely resembles exercise.

Well, there you have it folks. A glimpse into my day-to-day listmaking. Also, Lefty, I want to publicly apologize for the amount of time it took me to find my way to the pumping room. I know, I hurt your mammary-feelings. Blame those damn chips I move across the country. Have I mentioned hating my job before? No? Then here's your quarter for the day.

Peace!

(aaaaaand, I'm so behind that this was posted on a Friday!)

I hope I looked like hell this morning

because I totally ignored everyone on my way into daycare. I rather hope that they figured "eh, she's just bitchy cause she's exhausted/sick/undead."

Burrito fell asleep on the floor at 7 last night. I carried him up to bed, where we both had blissful sleep from 10 to 11, at which point he awoke and began to fuss. I figured he was hungry, so I fed him - after one side, he fell asleep. I rocked him for a few minutes, and then attempted to put him back in his crib.

no dice.

So back to the rocking chair, where he "fell asleep" again. I'm thinking he's playing possum here. Again with the crib, again no dice. I figured I'd try this "cry it out" thing, since he's almost 10 months, and normally sleeps through the night in his crib. I changed his diaper before it as well, to make sure there was nothing else he was complaining about. Everything seemed go for sleep.

SO, 5 minutes later, he's still crying. I go back in, pick him up, pat him on the back, put him back down, paci in mouth, blanket on. Crying again. Next time, just put his paci back in, pat him on the butt, done. Crying again. After an hour of this (I'm not sure if I kept it up every 5 minutes exactly, it was midnight-ish after all), I decided to try something, and moved him over into my bed instead of rocking him. He settled right down. Ah. Ha.

Back in the crib, buddy boy. There is no way I will get any sleep with him in the bed - and it's not safe. I had the huge body pillow on one side and me on the other, but if he were to wake up and crawl away without waking me up, his head + the wood floor? not good. And if he stays there, I'd be waking up every five seconds to make sure he's still there.

Sooooo, the crying went on for another hour until he calmed down and finally fell asleep. With me rubbing his chest. For about five minutes. All of this = one exhausted mom. I decided to take a mental health day today, as this weekend was insanely busy, and I was "ON" all weekend. You know the term, right moms? Or anyone who has ever watched kids? You have to be the go-to person, the entertainer, the caretaker, the feeder, etc. I needed some Cat time again. Just me. And I'm pretty sure that everyone's been there before. In order to be the parent I want to be, I need a little down time every now and then. This is only the 2nd time I have taken him to daycare and stayed home, and the previous time I had the stomach flu.

Today, I'm going to do some yoga, make myself some healthy meals, drink lots of water, and relax. Maybe some pilates too and a walk with the dog. Later on? I'll make my husband a pineapple upside down cake. And pick up the kid of course, feeling renewed and ready to play.

Of course, I'll have to go back to work tomorrow...but work is a post for another day.

And, happy birthday to my wonderful husband!

Red Red Whine

After this morning, I’m not sure who has worse separation anxiety – the burrito or the dog.

So this morning, I was planning to wake up early and give Leroy a bath before I dropped him off at the vet for his dental cleaning. Which is aWHOLEnother post in and of itself. Burrito had other plans. He woke up happy as a clam, played around in the office after he had his breakfast, and then I did the UNTHINKABLE – I dropped him in the crib so I could shower. *gasp*

I know, awful, right? You would think I made the kid crawl over hot coals. He would not be satisfied with me even being in the room, I had to be holding him and within crawling distance and in sight at all times in order for him to be content this morning. This did not bode well for my plans. So I did the only thing I could think of – turned on all of his normally entertaining toys, dropped him in the crib, and ran. It was a 1-minute bath for the dog, who was supremely smelly and in need, and then back to the burrito.

I sat him in his bouncy seat which does not “bounce” because all 19.8lbs of him is focused on crying as he watches me get in the shower. Now to be fair, the crying stopped when I picked him up from the crib and after he got settled in the bouncy chair – it’s just whining now. He can’t see me? Whine. The caterpillar toy is making noise? Whine. The monkey on his bouncy seat is looking at him with the wrong tone? Whine.

At the same time, there is a not-quite-soaking wet dog locked in the kitchen, licking his still-empty dog dish that used to contain food, and whining because he has no food in said dish. He couldn’t eat anything this morning due to his dental cleaning. So Bad Bad Leroy Brown is making pitiful dog noises in the kitchen, burrito is upstairs alternating between angry, indignant shrieks and whining, and I’m sure if there were any neighbours home on either side of my house, I’d have the cops knocking on my door wanting to know if I was hoarding animals/neglecting lots of children/keeping Gollum in my house.

Burrito’s whining continued until we got to daycare, at which point I took him out of his seat, set him down, and he turned around and started bawling. I handed him to a daycare lady and MOMMA RUN. This is only the second time I’ve had to do the MOMMA RUN, thankfully. He’s a happy baby most of the time, but when he gets into an “I want parent” mood, it’s on like Donkey Kong.

A post about Communication.

Yeah, it gets a capital C. Cause it's that important.

I wanted to write a little about those first precious days home with your baby, because lo and behold, I have an IRL friend who reads this blog ::waves to Lars:: so, that's at least one reader, go me! And I wanted to give her some advice on bringing home baby. A real, live, small carbon-based life-form. Because that's one of the most-asked questions, at least in my mind- we're home, now what? So here are some things I noticed:

1. If people ask If you need something, for heaven's sake, tell them to do the dishes. Or whatever else it is you want done. Even if they just asked to be nice (their bad), you'll still get clean plates, a room vacuumed, or best of all, food.

2. It's okay to cry. You may do this a lot; every time a certain commercial comes on, or at 3am when the kid is going through a particularly hungry time ("but I swear, I just fed him! How can he be hungry again?! They're gonna dry up!" - ps, they won't).

3. It's okay to not have any feelings of insane, head-over-heels love for the kid that hit you like a freight train the second he exits the tunnel. It's also okay if you don't think you have any maternal instincts. This may not happen right away, so don't beat yourself up about it.

And most important:
4. Communication. Not only will you have to tell people which chore you would like them to take care of, you'll have to talk to Your Partner. Take, for example, this lovely exchange:

(me, having just fed Burrito on righty and attempting to burp him and simultaneously put my chesticle back in its home before moving on to lefty) out loud: "Benjamin! Argh!" in my head: dude, why don't you grab him and walk him around? Can't you see I'm having issues and he's crying?

(hubs, sitting on his chair trying to do something important but totally not important with the bills) in his head: hmm, did it really cost that much to have a kid? Hey, is he crying? out loud: "hey, is he ok?"

Me, out loud: "no, but don't worry, I got it." huff huff huff.

See, in this case, what I should have done was said, "hey hubs, grab the kid and burp him while I wrangle the boobs."

Or take another case, where I was waiting to change his diaper because I was going to give him a bath - but hubs got him out of the babycage, changed his diaper, and handed him back to me. This is also huff-worthy.

I find that it works much better if you actually voice what is in your head. Sometimes, especially at 3am, it is tough to do this in a calm manner. Or any manner befitting a human being and not the chupacabra. So I'd have to remind hubs that I was working on being able to let him know why I was upset, but sometimes, I just needed a moment to huff about it before I calmed down and said something - don't expect a reply right away!

I also have learned to let him know whatever is on my mind. As in, "hey, I'm thinking that we should wait to change him into his jammies until after jeopardy because I want to clip his nails and put some baby oil on his head for the cradle cap." (yes, these are the things you talk about at night when you have a baby.) Because every small thought will count when you are working with someone else to take care of the kid. Unless you have the type of working relationship where you are in charge of everything, and in that case, good luck to you, chupacabra.

WTG, Ladies!!

Yesterday since we had a snow delay (thanks, daycare. I really wanted to be late to work and sit around outside until you opened at 830), I got to actually finish a complete morning feeding. Woot for baby! So when I went to pump, a bit late because of the delay and people not being in, having to cover the phones - at 12:00 or so - I got 8.25 oz. What! What you say! Yes, lots of milk. Good job, boobs.

Now, I don't know if it was the delayed timing, or the oatmeal I had for breakfast (we'll see, since I'm gonna chow down on the stuff every morning from now on), but I just wanted to offer a gold star of sorts to my milk bags.

And for an update on pumping @ work. The other pumper here actually left to be a SAHM (JEL-ous), but she was replaced! So I still have a pumping friend here. I've got my times set at about 945, 1245, and 345, if I can get to all 3 of them - which I will have to, in order to keep up with the little man. It's going well, I sit there with my phone and check blogs and such while I pump. Usually go for 15 minutes. It gives me a nice mental break in the day, and it's gotten to be a part of my schedule, so I'm used to it by now. My boobs aren't painful anymore, hallelujah, and I'm really enjoying being able to stock burrito's shelves for free, if you know what I mean. I remember the days where it used to hurt so much, and if anyone out there is reading who is in that stage, IT WILL PASS!!!!! I can't stress that enough.

Ok, time to make the donuts.

this past week's happenings

We had a wonderful weekend. I actually had a fabulous weekend, a better one than I've had in a while. Here's some stuff we did this past week/weekend:

- dressed the burrito in some fabulous outfits; I'll have to get a better pic of him in his fantastic new (well, old really) hat and mittens. It's the best thing ever, baby hats.

- accomplished the Christmas pics!

- hubs started my car every. single. day. so the burrito and I would have a warm car. and cause it's buttasscold in PA. suck.

- burrito found the toys on his swing tray yesterday! had no idea what to do with them, but they moved. and he's still trying to figure out what that thing making them move was.

- he found his feet on Tuesday. lolz

- had a wonderful counseling session this weekend.

- went to see a Christmas skit at church.

- that's all I can think of right now, more to come later!

Countdown to Cmas: 5 days.

A Very Special Post. Boobs Mentioned.

So, this breastfeeding thing. Let's start from the beginning.

When burrito was born, I'd say he was on the boob in the first 2 hours. Luckily, there were lactation consultants as far as the eye could see, so I got offered help at least a million times. I said yes to all of them, cause from what I'd heard, I'd need it.

The first one went pretty well, she helped get him latched and sucking away with his little newborn mouth. She basically grabbed my boob and shoved it in his mouth. She used the method of brushing the nipple down his nose to get his mouth open wide. I didn't feel a whole bunch at first, but it did get a wee bit sore so I lathered on the Lansinoh - in small amounts, because I am cheap.

The tops I brought to the Hosp were basically pajama tops and one Gap nursing shirt, and I had a Medela sleep bra, which, love. Oh the comfort at night. Not that I slept that first night. I was pretty much just up watching him, and figuring out how to lie/sit so my ass didn't kill.

So, we continued on, my burrito, boobs and me. It looked as If he was able to suck and get stuff, it was just colostrum at first so I didn't really see anything come out, but he wasn't opening his mouth wide enough, and it was starting to get painful. The lac cons and I tried a couple different positions for nursing, with the boppy and with pillows, and my left side started to be the one he didn't like. I was doing one side at a time at first.

After we got home, he continued to get enough, and I'd say within the 1st week, my milk came in. And then my boobs came in. Waaaay in. Like, good morning Dolly Parton (for me) in. I had cleavage I never thought I would, and found out what it's like to have actual boobs, like other women. Of course, eventually the side-effects kicked in: stretch marks, giant areolas, and a fun one - leaking. I blamed burrito's wet outfit on two faulty brands of diapers until I realized I *may* be leaking through my bra while he's nursing. Thank you, let-down.

The 1st week, I thought, was a bit hard. It was nothing compared to the 2nd week. The nips were sore all the time, and the cream helped, but it was just torturous at times. And then there was the favoring one side. He wasn't latching very well starting a couple days after we got home, and I remember being up one morning at 2am just crying, tears falling on the baby who was crying also, because it was so frustrating. There were times when he wanted to eat All.The.Time. and I didn't know if he was getting anything, or if he was getting nothing, or what the problem was.

And then of course, there was the moment when my mom was like, you're only feeding on one side? hmm. yeah. It's ok to feed them on both sides. And here I was sitting there for a half hour while burrito munched away on one boob. Lo and Behold, it only takes him like 10-15 minutes on one side to get his fill. It was only a couple days of that though, so we figured it out and got into a new routine pretty quick.

I wish I would've known about the growth spurts where they eat CONSTANTLY, and that there are days when they just wanna eat and that's that, when I started. Sometime around the start of the third week, he switched to the other boob being the favorite, and just wasn't having the shunned boob. His latch really didn't improve, and I called the lac cons about two times after I was home from the hosp. They gave me some good suggestions and advice, and I am so thankful I had that option. When it came down to it:
- his latch wasn't the best, but he was getting food
- sometimes he just wanted to eat
- sometimes he just wanted to suck
- my nips were PAINFUL
- it was ok to cry, moan and bitch about it.

Sometime after that, I'd say around 4+ weeks, it got better. I can't pinpoint anything specifically, but kellymom.com really helped, and just sticking with it made me feel...not better, but stronger. Not to say if it had been bad enough that switching to formula would've been weak, however, I think now that I didn't even consider that as an option, so my only choice was to succeed at breastfeeding. Possibly. Kind of like with labor - I was so scared of the needles, it didn't occur to me to ask for drugs; it wasn't even an option. And of course, there's always my pain mantra: it's probably going to get worse, so suck it up.

At around 5 weeks, we started being able to nurse laying down in bed, which was fantastic. He was beginning to be able to suck the nip into his mouth without having me pry his chin down and shove it in. And now? It's like a little mini-vac that sucks it in no matter where it is. Seriously. He could be across the room and his sucking power will just draw him to the boob. Pshaw. But I digress. I'm glad I was able to stick with it, and it wasn't as painful as it could've been, because it's really good for him and his immune system especially now that we're in cold&flu season; it's cheap; and I feel wanted and needed and useful, especially now that he's in daycare. And those moments when he's nursing and he looks up and catches my eye? Priceless.



products used:
Lansinoh lanolin
Lansinoh disposable pads - not to sound like the quote on the main page...but yeah, these do work well overnight!
I did try nipple shells and shields (Medela) but I think that I got the wrong size shield so it just hurt that much more. The shells, however? LOVE. It's like a protective little cup for the nips. Course, if you're leak-prone, remember to put a pad around them, lol.
Gap nursing tops - because I don't shop anywhere else.
Ok, I lied, Target has some nice nursing tanks for bedtime too.
I also brought one of Medela's sleep bras to the hosp with me, which was nice.

Advice to myself for possible next baby:
expect it to hurt like hell for the first 3 weeks. wake up at 2am, bitch, moan, throw things at husband. but it will get better. they will stop hurting. and maybe next time, try to plan for a summer baby so your nips don't freeze off.

Daycare - almost 3 days down.

The First Day:

We got there around 815, I had wanted to be there by 8 but I'm always late to everything, so why should that change now that I have even more to do in the mornings? ::sigh::
I don't have a code for the front door yet, but the director and owner recognize me. Walk in, hit the computer sign-in program, and go down the hall to the infant room, where the sign says "Welcome Benjamin and (other new baby)!" We either have to take our shoes off or wear booties, and obviously my shoe choice that day was boots, so I opted for the booties. Sex-ay.

I went in, said g'morning to the teachers, and set the burrito down to put his things away. Diaper bag to the cubby, blanket to his crib, bottles in the frig in his little plastic bin. I filled out his morning info (last nap? diaper? feeding? how's he doing this morning?) and didn't really know what to do then. The teacher with a squeaky voice (now that I think about it, she kinda reminds me of shelly duvall) asked if he was hungry, and he probably was, but when she warmed up the bottle to try it, he wasn't interested - he was looking around at everything. It was so darn bright in there.

I left his carseat there for hubs to pick him up, along with his blanket (thanks auntie Kim!) and his 3-6mo knit hat and sweater (thanks grandma shurl!) and just kind of moseyed my way to the door. I must have said goodbye about ten times. I just didn't want to go. : (

I didn't call in until about 2pm, and they said that he was doing fine, and was a happy baby, but didn't eat much. He took about 1/2oz, then 1oz, then 3, then 3. He had two leftover bottles (it said on their info sheet that I should send 4), which I then sent with him the next day. I figured it was just that he was in new surroundings, with new faces/shapes/colors/bright lights, and that he'd eat more later. He did. Of course, it took me a freakin hour to get home, thanks stupidlocalhighway. When I got home, it wasn't like he was wagging his tail and running up to me like another household item (who also peed on the floor, natch), so I wasn't expecting much. But like I said, he was a bit ravenous and ate for longer than usual. He seemed like he was sleepy, lethargic almost, and wary of his surroundings. It took him about two hours to be back to his "normal" happy baby self, and then he was smiling and chatting away.

He woke up twice in the night to eat - 2am and 550, which he hasn't done for a little while now, so he must have been starved. Hubs did say that when he went to pick him up, his hands were freezing, and the room was cold, so I'm going to see how it is today when I go to pick him up, and then address it with the center director and teachers. He does have mittens, if his hands were cold I'd hope they would use them. Maybe they forgot I packed them?...Maybe it was just the weather on Monday which was colder than the norm lately.

Yesterday, he ate a little more, but wasn't as happy baby as the first day. He hasn't taken his usual naps either, going down for only a half hour to hour at a time. He usually goes for a good 1+ in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. We'll see if it's just getting used to daycare. Hubs reported some green poop as well when he picked him up, which had happened once before, the first time he had a bottle. Is that common? Interwebs?

Last night was a little bit better, he started napping when I took him to the store, and went down for the count at about 930. Slept until about 330, when he started fussing - I woke him up to eat. My boobs were a'hurtin by that point, whee engorgement. He went back to sleep, I went downstairs to pump the other boob, and he woke up again at 650 for the day.

I really have to start getting up at 630 like my alarm clock says. Can't there be more hours in a day? and less days in a year? we don't need all those days in August. Take some back, Julius Caesar.

And then I pumped at work

Since breastfeeding went so well for me at first (LaughOnLine), I figured I'd need to get all the accoutrements to be able to pump at work, in order to continue my pseudo-crunchy lifestyle. And hey, it's cheap. I checked with our ins, and they'd cover a pump up to a certain amount. In a wonderfully ironic-in-the-Alanis-sense twist of fate, that amount was right.under. every mainstream pump; the medelas, the amedas, the avents. So I went for the lovely lavender Lansinoh pump, as the nip cream has been so good to me so far.

I've been using it at home since I got it for the middle of the night "feeding" time, and besides being a little bit noisy, it works like a charm. So I decided to take my show on the road and continue pumping at work. They have a special super secret pumping room, to which I was introduced today, winding through a maze of carpeted hallways on directions from ladies who have pumped before.

The room is part of a bathroom, and behind some saloon-style swinging doors. So people walk by it in order to get to the bathroom, which is behind another door. It's in a swanky part of our complex, which is inhabited by upper-level employees (I've been watching too much Charmed, I was going to finish that phrase "upper-level demons"), mostly men, so the bathroom isn't frequented too much. I made myself a sticky note to put on the swinging doors: "Pumping in Progress." Too literal, interwebs? Too impersonal? Give me some suggestions.

I went up first at 11:15, and got about 3.75oz and 4oz. Second time around 3:15 and got about the same, maybe a little less. I used my lansinoh bottles that came with the pump, and that I bought in the extra pack, and stuck them in the office mini-frig, all the way in the back. I need to get more of those milk baggies, they work better for storage. It works out pretty well. I use one hand to hold both of the pump bottles, because I haven't figured out yet how to wrangle up a holder. I just played on my cell phone today, but maybe tomorrow I'll remember a magazine or something so I don't have to sit there for 15 minutes and stare at a small screen.

I rinsed the parts with soapy water afterwards at the br sink, and stuck them in one of my fancy little Medela sanitizing bags. That and 2oz of water went in the microwave for 3 min after I got back to my cube area, which is ingenious. I just need to remember to bring a towel in my pump package.

***update - next day***

So, this morning, hubs found my special little backpack for my pump stuff. Thank goodness. I look so chic now; natch.

I also did a little bit of interwebs-lookin and found out that I am able to sanitize once a day, so I started out today with pumping at 10:30, then cleaned the parts with soapy water and put them in the medela bag. I'll get them out again at the next pumping session, which will probably be around 2-3, and then after that, sanitize. I didn't have a 3am pumping session this morning, because the burrito had a not-very-hungry first day (getting used to the bottle, new place/faces, etc) and ate tons last night and then woke to eat at 2am and again at 530.

This morning, I used the medela wipes, which actually dried my parts quicker than I expected (they were wet from washing, no towel with me). They worked pretty well, but will only be an occasional thing as they are not on the cheap side (@$10/bag of 24).

Also, I can store milk from more than one pumping in the same bottle, which is good, because since I fell asleep at 9pm last night on the couch while feeding the burrito, I didn't get to clean all of my bottles. How do women do this again?!

My resources:
KellyMom
Work and Pump

My fun things:
Medela Quick Clean Wipes
Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags

Pump'n'Stuff:
Lansinoh Affinity Double Electric Pump
Lansinoh storage bags and bottles - their bottles all fit with the pump, obviously, however I couldn't find any nipples/tops for them at my local BRU, in case I wanted to use those to feed the kid. So I will probably just pump right into my...
Dr. Brown's bottles

The All-Important First Day Back At Work.

or, the one where I watch the clock.

SOOOO, today was my first day back at work. Technically; is my first day, since I don't leave until 530. I aimed to get up at 630 this morning, but burrito had other plans, and woke me with some serious whining at 550 to eat. When he had eaten and spit up on himself, we went downstairs, where he took a lil catnap in his swing, and I proceeded to go about my day.

- fill bottles (found hole in one bag of milk, spilled all over frig and floor)
- eat breakfast (dog has to go out in middle of breakfast, honey nut mini-wheats are now soggy)
- get bpump items together (find that I cannot find the pump bag, have to use tote from charity walk 3 years ago)
- get dressed (sweater is too tight, change into gut-camo sweater)
- make sure I have all of burrito's paperwork (I did! I did!)

I aimed to leave the house at 745 - ended up really leaving at 805. Best-laid plans...and such. So, we get there, say good morning, director puts us in the computer so I can check him in, and head down to the infant room. The woman there is waaaaay too chipper for before 10am, but I guess you have to be around babies.

Drop the diaper bag, drop the bottles (with insanely detailed labels; 5.5oz, 5oz, 4.75oz, and 4oz bottles), fill out his am paperwork (last feeding, nap, diaper change), and unpack him, who by this time is fussing about being restrained for so long without moving. He has car seat issues.

When they asked if he was fussing for a reason, I said he's probably hungry, so they heated up one of the bottles for him - which he wouldn't take at that point, because everything else in the room was just too interesting, lol. You'd think he's never been outside my house before.

I said goodbye about 5 times, and then had to get my butt to work. I'm not sure if I can explain correctly, but I almost feel as if I'm just borrowing someone else's baby, and I'll either have to give him back or they'll come pick him up inevitably. Of course that's just right now, as two days ago I was marveling that I have a son and he's mine for the rest of our lives. It's such an odd thing. I'm not sure how people adjust to this.

One thing is certain: I miss him tons.